Today I got a little emotional while putting the decorations on the tree. A very strange sentiment while doing something I love to do. Lately that has been happening to me a lot. See, recently my Pastor has asked me to share my story as part of a series we are doing this month called "The Christmas Story." Today we heard from an amazing guy with an incredible story of how God rescued him from a path that certainly was destructive. It was a very encouraging message. I love to hear people say "don't lose hope on people." We all have been in need of rescuing and I'm so thankful for the people who didn't give up on me.
Now, back to where I was going with this. Ever since Pastor Derek asked me to speak I've been taken back to my past. There are so many memories that I had put in a file that was labeled "do not open" and I was planning on keeping it that way. It has brought up a few good memories but mostly a lot of bad ones. It has not been a fun process but I feel like it has been something that has been needed to bring healing in areas that I didn't even know needed healing.
This morning my pastor mentioned that a person's testimony is not just for that person to remember and be thankful but it's for others. When we share our stories, God's presence is released. Those words gave me courage. Courage to share things I'm not proud of, things that made me feel such pain and even a story of complete restoration and healing of my body.
So, tonight as I decorated our tree, I was overwhelmed with thankfulness. I'm so thankful that I have been rescued by God. I'm thankful that I have a husband that loves me unconditionally, and a daughter who means the world to me. I am so blessed. Never once when I was a little girl in my bed, praying my daddy wouldn't kill my mama in a drunken rage, did I think that God had a plan for me that included such blessings. I'm so glad I serve a good and loving God.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Surprising someone with goodness
Today I noticed a lady walking on the side of the road with only a long sleeve shirt and jogging pants on. No coat, no gloves. I was really bothered by that. At first, I thought to myself, "I want to give her my coat." Then I thought, "she might be a crazy person and flip out on you, do not stop!"
Well, lately I have been trying to live this quote my pastor said a few months ago, "surprise someone with goodness." So, I have been doing just that. I must tell you that it opens up so many doors and not only does it show God's love to people in need but it comes back to encourage me. I love how God works!
So, I pulled my car over and waited for her to get closer to me. When she got close I stepped out of my car and asked if she would please take my coat. She kindly refused saying she wasn't far from home. I could tell that she was a little surprised that I had even asked her. I couldn't get her to take it so I got back in my car and drove up the road a bit but I could not go very far before I pulled over again. I waited for her to get closer and this time I took my coat off and basically begged her to take my coat. She refused again and said she would feel guilty if she took it. I did all I could do to get her to take my coat and she still refused.
I am not sure why I felt so compelled to give it to her. It was something I know I needed to do yet, my goodness was refused. This could easily be discouraging and send me into a mode of not wanting to help anyone but it has had the opposite affect. In fact, that is the only reason I am writing this blog. I want to encourage more people to "surprise someone with goodness." Even if people do not receive it the way we thought they would. I have no idea how my actions affected that lady today. Maybe she just needed someone to show her kindness and maybe she had prayed to God to send a message of love recently. I guess I will never know. What I do know is that this world needs a lot more goodness. Let's be that to our world.
Well, lately I have been trying to live this quote my pastor said a few months ago, "surprise someone with goodness." So, I have been doing just that. I must tell you that it opens up so many doors and not only does it show God's love to people in need but it comes back to encourage me. I love how God works!
So, I pulled my car over and waited for her to get closer to me. When she got close I stepped out of my car and asked if she would please take my coat. She kindly refused saying she wasn't far from home. I could tell that she was a little surprised that I had even asked her. I couldn't get her to take it so I got back in my car and drove up the road a bit but I could not go very far before I pulled over again. I waited for her to get closer and this time I took my coat off and basically begged her to take my coat. She refused again and said she would feel guilty if she took it. I did all I could do to get her to take my coat and she still refused.
I am not sure why I felt so compelled to give it to her. It was something I know I needed to do yet, my goodness was refused. This could easily be discouraging and send me into a mode of not wanting to help anyone but it has had the opposite affect. In fact, that is the only reason I am writing this blog. I want to encourage more people to "surprise someone with goodness." Even if people do not receive it the way we thought they would. I have no idea how my actions affected that lady today. Maybe she just needed someone to show her kindness and maybe she had prayed to God to send a message of love recently. I guess I will never know. What I do know is that this world needs a lot more goodness. Let's be that to our world.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Moving on
Have you ever just felt defeated? If so, I have something to share with you that hopefully will encourage you. There are so many things that can happen to discourage us or make us feel defeated. We end up living with a victim mentality and before we know it, we can't even see the hope that is in front of us. The enemy would love nothing more than to keep us in this place but I am ready to see people, including myself, rise up and be over-comers!
There are so many things that I could meditate on and ask the question, "why did this happen to me?", but I don't want to live there. I want those circumstances in the past to be in the past and to be used to encourage people. When people see my life I don't want them to see the unfortunate circumstances but instead see someone who stands strong, looks defeat in the face with boldness and says "I will not back down in my faith". I want to be the person that says "fear will not hold me back anymore more."
The best example we have of an over-comer is Jesus. Look at what all He endured. Everything He did was ridiculed by the pharisees, he was beaten and killed for no crime whatsoever but he did it for us. Guess what?! He conquered defeat for all time. He suffered a billion times over anything we could ever suffer but He did not live as a victim of His circumstances. He is our example.
So, if you feel like you have been living in defeat all you need to do is reach out to the one true over-comer. Release whatever is holding you down and make a decision to choose joy. When we decide to live this way our lives and everyone around us will be so much better. We can be world- changers with this kind of attitude. After all, Jesus was.
1 John 5:4 "everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world - our faith."
There are so many things that I could meditate on and ask the question, "why did this happen to me?", but I don't want to live there. I want those circumstances in the past to be in the past and to be used to encourage people. When people see my life I don't want them to see the unfortunate circumstances but instead see someone who stands strong, looks defeat in the face with boldness and says "I will not back down in my faith". I want to be the person that says "fear will not hold me back anymore more."
The best example we have of an over-comer is Jesus. Look at what all He endured. Everything He did was ridiculed by the pharisees, he was beaten and killed for no crime whatsoever but he did it for us. Guess what?! He conquered defeat for all time. He suffered a billion times over anything we could ever suffer but He did not live as a victim of His circumstances. He is our example.
So, if you feel like you have been living in defeat all you need to do is reach out to the one true over-comer. Release whatever is holding you down and make a decision to choose joy. When we decide to live this way our lives and everyone around us will be so much better. We can be world- changers with this kind of attitude. After all, Jesus was.
1 John 5:4 "everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world - our faith."
Friday, October 11, 2013
From a mom to a mom
Anyone that is a mom is certainly a full-time mom. I just really want to give a shout out to full-time working moms this week. I get the privilege to work only three days a week and there are many times that I feel that is too much. For the last week and over the next several weeks I'll be working every day and I gotta say, it is difficult. I love my job. That's not the problem. The problem is that I feel guilt over missing my child, missing those two very sweet days that I get her all day to myself! Just her and mommy. I want to be with her all the time so it's just so hard.
I also have a little anxiety over my messy house. I do not know how people keep a spotless house with a child or children but I especially don't know how moms who work full time even have time to do a load of laundry. All I have to say is props to you gals who juggle it all! I thought I was super busy but you full-timers really got it going on. If you are a stay at home mom, please just know how blessed you are! I know you are super busy and the job never stops for you either. I know that there are days that you may feel like just one day at work, out of the house would be amazing but it's so worth it. Last night Daniel said to me "it is a huge responsibility to raise a child. We are shaping their personality and every little thing." It is so true. Thank God for grace, right?!
So, whatever kind of mom you are, be encouraged! Be encouraged that there is grace for days when you work all day and miss sweet moments. There is grace when you might mess up or when your kids are being difficult. There's even grace when we feel like we don't deserve it. That's what grace is (unearned, unmerited favor). Receive it, let your children receive it.
I also have a little anxiety over my messy house. I do not know how people keep a spotless house with a child or children but I especially don't know how moms who work full time even have time to do a load of laundry. All I have to say is props to you gals who juggle it all! I thought I was super busy but you full-timers really got it going on. If you are a stay at home mom, please just know how blessed you are! I know you are super busy and the job never stops for you either. I know that there are days that you may feel like just one day at work, out of the house would be amazing but it's so worth it. Last night Daniel said to me "it is a huge responsibility to raise a child. We are shaping their personality and every little thing." It is so true. Thank God for grace, right?!
So, whatever kind of mom you are, be encouraged! Be encouraged that there is grace for days when you work all day and miss sweet moments. There is grace when you might mess up or when your kids are being difficult. There's even grace when we feel like we don't deserve it. That's what grace is (unearned, unmerited favor). Receive it, let your children receive it.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Seasons
Yesterday was a beautiful day. Some of our forever friends and my family drove up to Hendersonville to surprise one of my most favorite people. We all grew up together in youth group, aside from a few spouses. Steve and Shelly were our youth pastors for several years and we all still adore them. As I was writing in Shelly's card I started to think about all they had done for us and I have to say I was overwhelmed. They spoke the word into us and prayed over us at a time in life that is so pivotal. Teenage years! Last night we didn't get home until midnight and I joked with Shelly about not knowing how they made it all those years staying up late, especially with two small kids. Now that I'm an adult I feel like I can truly appreciate that!
Last night as I was getting ready for bed I started thinking about seasons. Some are short, some seem to last forever. Some may be easy breezy, while some may leave us gasping for air. In the past few years I can attest that Daniel and I have been through several seasons and many of those were difficult. There was even a time last year that I didn't want to live anymore. Thankfully that was a very, very small season. It's shocking even now as I'm writing it out. I let my circumstances cloud all the lovely blessings in my life. My perspective was way off and I certainly wasn't looking for the joy in the situation. Eventually I tapped into God's love and grace and was restored.
I just want to encourage someone that may be in one of those difficult seasons to look up! Be encouraged! There's a new season coming. If we can choose to focus on the good things I believe we can always walk in a season of peace and hope. If we can change our perspective, I believe it will change our lives completely. We never know who will be changed by the way we walk through a season. Let's not live life in a hurry through every season. Let's learn to find the joy in each circumstance.
"Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8
I'm so thankful for the way Steve and Shelly walked through their season at LCOG. My life and many others were so enriched by them in ways that I'm sure they never even thought was possible at the time.
Last night as I was getting ready for bed I started thinking about seasons. Some are short, some seem to last forever. Some may be easy breezy, while some may leave us gasping for air. In the past few years I can attest that Daniel and I have been through several seasons and many of those were difficult. There was even a time last year that I didn't want to live anymore. Thankfully that was a very, very small season. It's shocking even now as I'm writing it out. I let my circumstances cloud all the lovely blessings in my life. My perspective was way off and I certainly wasn't looking for the joy in the situation. Eventually I tapped into God's love and grace and was restored.
I just want to encourage someone that may be in one of those difficult seasons to look up! Be encouraged! There's a new season coming. If we can choose to focus on the good things I believe we can always walk in a season of peace and hope. If we can change our perspective, I believe it will change our lives completely. We never know who will be changed by the way we walk through a season. Let's not live life in a hurry through every season. Let's learn to find the joy in each circumstance.
"Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8
I'm so thankful for the way Steve and Shelly walked through their season at LCOG. My life and many others were so enriched by them in ways that I'm sure they never even thought was possible at the time.
Monday, September 16, 2013
The simple things
It is the end of a simple but sweet day for me. I dropped my baby off at Mimi's, went to work, picked said baby up, cooked dinner, played, and just got that sweet girl to bed. A few things were different about this day. For one, it's my grandpa's birthday. Although, he isn't here I had an extra cup of coffee to celebrate him. My heart was a little sad today but in a good and healthy way. He was so dear to me that it would be unusual not to be missing him. His character was so good and so pure that everyone loved him. He loved everyone and he would have given his shirt off of his back. Anyway, I will get back on track.
The other thing that was different about this day was Raleigh's bed time. We did everything we usually do but it was different. I began to sing as I normally do. I start off with my usual "Jesus loves me" and ended on "The old rugged cross". I think I have mentioned this before but I can only usually ever think of hymns to sing at bedtime for some crazy reason. As I sang "The old rugged cross", something happened in the room. I just began to feel the presence of the Lord in the room. It is almost as He was giving me a hug. As I left the room tears began to flow. Good tears. I started to think about the simple things of life. When I was a child things were so sweet and simple with my grandparents. I guess that song just took me back to my grandpa playing guitar and my grandma always singing that song in church. To me, they are the sweetest, most simple people, yet they made such a huge impact on my life.
What is it about their character that changed me so? Well, the biggest answer is Jesus. They loved the Lord, they loved people, they even loved each other. Because they knew Jesus they were giving, kind, gentle, peaceful, and just plain good! By the way, my grandmother is still here! She is still all these things.
I guess my point in all this is to say that I think we need to get back to the simple. Love Jesus, love people. A big change would come if we really would LOVE as we are called to.
This is how God loves:
God is patient, He is kind. He does not envy, does not boast or is not proud. He is not rude, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, He keeps no record of wrongs. He does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. He never fails! 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
God is love. The way that Jesus said we are to win people is to love one another. John 13:35
How different would our relationships be if we lived this 1st Corinthians love?
Sunday, August 11, 2013
A piece of my heart.
Life lately has been kinda busy. I feel like the week ends as soon as it begins. I try to savor each moment with my family and really capture the sweetest things. I'm trying to be more thankful. It doesn't always workout but I'm doing a better job of reminding myself. Recently I heard about a book called "Sparkling green earrings" by Melanie Shankle. Love, love, love this book. I finished it in three days which could explain why my floors are still dirty. Hey, I did get to the laundry!
Anyways, back to the book. It's a book about motherhood. Imagine that. About a year ago I jumped into that role. It certainly wasn't what I expected at all. It was so much more. I thank God every day for what a joy my daughter is and how thankful I am that I was chosen to be her mom. I have gotten such a glimpse into the Father's love for me by being a mother to her. It's not always easy. If you are a mother you know this all too well. In fact, just the past two weeks she's been waking up every night again. I suspect teething. Nothing is more frustrating to me than getting woken up from the best sleep to try and figure out what's wrong with this little person.
It was 1:30 am last Friday when she awoke. I got up, gave her a bottle (don't judge, I'll do whatever it takes to get her back to sleep), and she drifted back to sleep. As soon as I got nice and comfy in the bed I hear her in the monitor. Really?! At this time I woke Daniel up to ask him what I should do. I hate waking him up but I only do it in my weakest moments. He is always so helpful and I am very thankful for the kind of loving dad he is. So, he went in to try and get her back to sleep to no avail. Back and forth we went until about 3am. In a moment of desperation I brought her to our bed thinking surely she would fall asleep in my loving arms. You can only imagine how aggravated we both were at this point. It's not just frustrating that it is 3am but the fact that we do not know why she refuses to go back to sleep is enough to make you crazy.
So here we are, she's cuddling with mommy. I actually loved the feeling of her snuggled next to me. I'm thinking "we are just gonna fall asleep together and it's gonna be so sweet." Ha! That's when she looked up at the ceiling fan , pointed and quoted her famous question "whassat?" I just starting laughing. Daniel, on the other hand, did not think it was funny. I think he can laugh about it now. Somewhere around 4am she was sound asleep in her bed until about 9am. Which is the reason I got to read so much. So, it worked out in the end.
My point in all this is that there is grace and joy in every situation. At the moment I was not feeling it much but I can see it now. I'm still hoping she sleeps through the night again very soon but until then, I will get some extra snuggles and time loving on my girl. She won't be a baby forever.
I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from the book:
"Looking back, the sweetest things are often the hardest things. They teach you a level of sacrifice you didn't know you were capable of, and for me, having a child was the beginning of a glimpse into the kind of love Christ has for us. Sacrificial love. Love that doesn't keep score. Love that isn't dependent on what's in it for me. Love that is consuming and protective and unconditional."
I pray that I can be the best mom to little Raleigh Quinn. I also pray that I can give this kind of love out to others. This is the Father's heart.
Anyways, back to the book. It's a book about motherhood. Imagine that. About a year ago I jumped into that role. It certainly wasn't what I expected at all. It was so much more. I thank God every day for what a joy my daughter is and how thankful I am that I was chosen to be her mom. I have gotten such a glimpse into the Father's love for me by being a mother to her. It's not always easy. If you are a mother you know this all too well. In fact, just the past two weeks she's been waking up every night again. I suspect teething. Nothing is more frustrating to me than getting woken up from the best sleep to try and figure out what's wrong with this little person.
It was 1:30 am last Friday when she awoke. I got up, gave her a bottle (don't judge, I'll do whatever it takes to get her back to sleep), and she drifted back to sleep. As soon as I got nice and comfy in the bed I hear her in the monitor. Really?! At this time I woke Daniel up to ask him what I should do. I hate waking him up but I only do it in my weakest moments. He is always so helpful and I am very thankful for the kind of loving dad he is. So, he went in to try and get her back to sleep to no avail. Back and forth we went until about 3am. In a moment of desperation I brought her to our bed thinking surely she would fall asleep in my loving arms. You can only imagine how aggravated we both were at this point. It's not just frustrating that it is 3am but the fact that we do not know why she refuses to go back to sleep is enough to make you crazy.
So here we are, she's cuddling with mommy. I actually loved the feeling of her snuggled next to me. I'm thinking "we are just gonna fall asleep together and it's gonna be so sweet." Ha! That's when she looked up at the ceiling fan , pointed and quoted her famous question "whassat?" I just starting laughing. Daniel, on the other hand, did not think it was funny. I think he can laugh about it now. Somewhere around 4am she was sound asleep in her bed until about 9am. Which is the reason I got to read so much. So, it worked out in the end.
My point in all this is that there is grace and joy in every situation. At the moment I was not feeling it much but I can see it now. I'm still hoping she sleeps through the night again very soon but until then, I will get some extra snuggles and time loving on my girl. She won't be a baby forever.
I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from the book:
"Looking back, the sweetest things are often the hardest things. They teach you a level of sacrifice you didn't know you were capable of, and for me, having a child was the beginning of a glimpse into the kind of love Christ has for us. Sacrificial love. Love that doesn't keep score. Love that isn't dependent on what's in it for me. Love that is consuming and protective and unconditional."
I pray that I can be the best mom to little Raleigh Quinn. I also pray that I can give this kind of love out to others. This is the Father's heart.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Comparison
Lately I've heard the phrase "comparison is the thief of joy" several times. This has really made me search my heart. It seems like the Lord is doing all kinds of things in my heart these days. I'll save all that for another day, back to comparison and the danger in it. Comparing ourselves to our friends, neighbors, family can start so easily and before we know it we are so unhappy with everything we have! This is such a dangerous place to be. Today I had the thought that it really makes you ungrateful. Our God is a God who loves thankfulness and I don't want to be in a place of being ungrateful. Being ungrateful can rob us of all the blessings that he has in store for our lives. I don't know about you but I want all the blessings!
The biggest reason comparison is dangerous is because it can and will steal our joy. When we lose our joy, we lose our strength. The bible says "the joy of the Lord is our strength." (Nehemiah 8:10) When we lose it the enemy can come in at our moment of weakness and knock us off our feet. Now that I am aware of this, I can see many times where I've allowed this to happen to me. Don't get me wrong here people, there's always grace. Our savior is always standing there with arms open, ready to give us back our joy as we draw near to him.
I have really been evaluating my own life throughout this learning process. I am so bad about comparing myself to my friends. I often think I am not good enough and I pale in comparison to my friends. This goes from clothes to personality from anything to everything. It's really a constant battle in my mind. I'm so tired of it. It is a lot of work trying to keep up with everyone. It is not the way to peace. Peace and joy are two things that the world does not have and how can I be that to them if I'm not living in it myself?
I'm challenging you dear reader to search your heart and see the ways you might compare yourself to others. Let's find our value in Christ and forget about trying to keep up and be someone we weren't created to be. I'm looking forward to raising a daughter who knows she is valuable and it will have nothing to do with the things she has or doesn't have, it will be her identity in our savior.
Just a little side note: let's stop being so hard on each other. I know that I've been hard on others when they are "different" than me. That's not a good place to be either. I've been watching Big Brother (guilty pleasure), but the girls are really mean to each other. It is really sad to see. We as women need to stand up, especially Christian woman, and be kindhearted to one another. We need to look past the outward appearance and look at the heart. I know this is so elementary but it is something that we need to be reminded of.
Just a little food for thought. Thanks for reading.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Update: 30 day challenge
About 20 days ago I gave myself a challenge to wear a different shirt everyday for 30 days. To make it even more challenging I am not allowed to buy any new shirts. In case all two of my readers are wondering, I thought I'd update.
I have done a pretty good job and I've actually enjoyed doing it. This week I wore one shirt twice just because I wanted to wear tights and it is one of my only shirts that cover my bottom. :)
It has been a fun challenge finding different outfits from my existing clothes. I'll post a few pics after 30 days. Stay tuned.
I have done a pretty good job and I've actually enjoyed doing it. This week I wore one shirt twice just because I wanted to wear tights and it is one of my only shirts that cover my bottom. :)
It has been a fun challenge finding different outfits from my existing clothes. I'll post a few pics after 30 days. Stay tuned.
Friday, July 12, 2013
Reflections
Today is a good day. While rocking Raleigh to sleep I started thinking about this day last year. Tears streamed down my face as I started reflecting on the greatness of all that happened and all that could have been.
This is the day the doctor came into my hospital room and told me they were going to put me on a ventilator to help me stay alive. What I didn't know is that meant I would be put into a coma, which I find was a good thing because I was already afraid of what the other meant. Anyways, for five days I had no idea that my life existed.
You may be thinking that I bring this up a lot. Well, it's part of my story now. It doesn't define me but it's changed my life. See, the enemy tried to take my life. He steals, kills and destroys. I do not believe for one second that God brought this on me to teach me a lesson but I will testify that my God is in the restoring business. What the enemy meant for harm, God will turn it around for the good. I'm so thankful. In reality I would have been fine if I hadn't made it. Being a new mom makes me grateful though, that I get to experience my child growing and learning. It is one of the most precious gifts I have ever been given. Children really are a blessing from The Lord.
This next week I'm going to celebrate and enjoy my days. I want to always have a thankful heart. I am moving past feeling like a victim of the enemies schemes. I am victorious, I'm alive!
This next week I am expectant of restoration. I missed five days of my life and almost two weeks away from my baby. I don't know what this restoration looks like but whatever it is, it will be good.
So yeh, it's a good day.
Psalm 30:3 "God, my God, I yelled for help and you put me together. God, you pulled me out of the grave, gave me another chance at life when I was down-and-out."
This is the day the doctor came into my hospital room and told me they were going to put me on a ventilator to help me stay alive. What I didn't know is that meant I would be put into a coma, which I find was a good thing because I was already afraid of what the other meant. Anyways, for five days I had no idea that my life existed.
You may be thinking that I bring this up a lot. Well, it's part of my story now. It doesn't define me but it's changed my life. See, the enemy tried to take my life. He steals, kills and destroys. I do not believe for one second that God brought this on me to teach me a lesson but I will testify that my God is in the restoring business. What the enemy meant for harm, God will turn it around for the good. I'm so thankful. In reality I would have been fine if I hadn't made it. Being a new mom makes me grateful though, that I get to experience my child growing and learning. It is one of the most precious gifts I have ever been given. Children really are a blessing from The Lord.
This next week I'm going to celebrate and enjoy my days. I want to always have a thankful heart. I am moving past feeling like a victim of the enemies schemes. I am victorious, I'm alive!
This next week I am expectant of restoration. I missed five days of my life and almost two weeks away from my baby. I don't know what this restoration looks like but whatever it is, it will be good.
So yeh, it's a good day.
Psalm 30:3 "God, my God, I yelled for help and you put me together. God, you pulled me out of the grave, gave me another chance at life when I was down-and-out."
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Sweet memories
The storm tonight woke Raleigh up. Every time she would close her eyes it would thunder. So, there I stood, over her crib so she would be assured that everything was okay. As I stood there I started humming a little ol' hymn that my grandmother used to sing to me.
'Til the storm passes over, 'til the thunder sounds no more, ' til the clouds roll forever from the sky. Keep me safe let me stand, in the hollow of thy hand. Keep me safe 'til the storm goes by."
When I was a child afraid of a storm I would sing that song until the storm was over. That simple song would bring me such peace, even as a child. I can't help but be so thankful for the influence of my loving grandparents. They were a safe place for me and they instilled the love of God in me that I never even understood until I was an adult. Every night as I rock Raleigh to sleep I sing hymns and every time I think of my grandmother. She's never wavered in her love for The Lord even after losing her life-long companion. What an example and a joy she is. She has taught me to stand firm in what I believe and no matter how boisterous the storm may be, we have a peace speaker and we must keep going in faith, full force!
Sweet, sweet memories.
Monday, July 8, 2013
30 day challenge
This morning I was thinking of something very random. I have a ton of clothes that I don't wear. As I picked out my shirt for work. I got to thinking "what if I wear a new shirt everyday for the next month?" I think I would find some shirts that I have purchased and never even worn or shirts that I like but are hidden between other clothes. I have a tendency to be an outfit repeater. I have a few items that I love so I end up wearing them over and over! I think my new item of choice is my blue jean sleeveless shirt. Well, who can blame me? It goes with everything!
So, I am challenging myself to do a new shirt a day for the next 30 days. Here is today's.
I know it's not very amazing, I got it at Goodwill and wanted to try it out. I always find shirts that are a "good deal" at Goodwill or consignments and end up just hanging them up, never to be seen again. Well, that got me to thinking that I'd also challenge myself not to buy anything for the next 30 days. Whew! That's gonna be a hard one for this girl. I love, love to shop. I especially love to hunt for good finds. It's one of my favorite past times. :)
So, here it is. I've put it in writing so now I have to stick to it! Hold me accountable you fellow bloggers. I'm sure my husband will do a good job at that as well.
Thank you for reading this very meaningless blog.
So, I am challenging myself to do a new shirt a day for the next 30 days. Here is today's.
I know it's not very amazing, I got it at Goodwill and wanted to try it out. I always find shirts that are a "good deal" at Goodwill or consignments and end up just hanging them up, never to be seen again. Well, that got me to thinking that I'd also challenge myself not to buy anything for the next 30 days. Whew! That's gonna be a hard one for this girl. I love, love to shop. I especially love to hunt for good finds. It's one of my favorite past times. :)
So, here it is. I've put it in writing so now I have to stick to it! Hold me accountable you fellow bloggers. I'm sure my husband will do a good job at that as well.
Thank you for reading this very meaningless blog.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Wonderful peace
"You know the way to our hearts and the more we see the more we love you." These words rang so true to my heart when we sang them at church this morning. I couldn't help but smile because I was reminded of Friday morning. I've been in reno-mode the past few weeks and I just can't stop myself. Once I get an idea in my head it's hard for me to wait to get it accomplished. Anyone else? So, here are a few things we've been working on: painting the outside of the house, re-painting the living room, chevron stripes on the back porch, and re-doing the front porch where all the paint is chipping off. Old house say what?! Not to mention, my baby is turning one this week and I've been getting things ready for her party and her first year video. You could easily say that my focus has been off of everything else. Thankfully I realized that on Friday. To say that I have been overwhelmed is a bit of an understatement. I know I did it to myself. I know I should have thought to ask our good God so much sooner for peace but it didn't hit me until Friday morning.
I was on my way to Walmart to get more painting supplies. My father-in-law showed up that morning ready to paint the exterior. I wasn't prepared for that but I was so excited to get it done that I didn't care. I was feeling so anxious and I really didn't have any reason other than my "need" to get everything finished before Raleigh's big party. Suddenly it hit me that I needed to pray. I turned on some worship and I asked God for peace. I boldly said "God, I am not getting out of my car until you give me peace." You may think that's pretty bold. I could have been sitting there all day but I knew that I just could not go on until I had peace. Peace that passes all understanding. Peace that washes over us in our most stressful moments. Peace that gives us rest. Wonderful peace.
I decided to open up my devotion app for the day and the scripture was Philippians 4:6-7 "don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Then, you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
When I read that I could not keep the tears from flowing and right there in the Walmart parking lot, I felt peace. I told God what I needed and because I asked, I received. Man, why didn't I do that before? I had been so focused on my "to do" list that I let the most important thing fall to the bottom of the list. So, as I sang those words this morning I knew how true they are. He knows the way to our hearts. I love him more today. The biggest lesson for me in this is to always let his peace guard my heart and mind. It's so easy to get overwhelmed with little things but those things do not matter when you think of the big picture.
I was on my way to Walmart to get more painting supplies. My father-in-law showed up that morning ready to paint the exterior. I wasn't prepared for that but I was so excited to get it done that I didn't care. I was feeling so anxious and I really didn't have any reason other than my "need" to get everything finished before Raleigh's big party. Suddenly it hit me that I needed to pray. I turned on some worship and I asked God for peace. I boldly said "God, I am not getting out of my car until you give me peace." You may think that's pretty bold. I could have been sitting there all day but I knew that I just could not go on until I had peace. Peace that passes all understanding. Peace that washes over us in our most stressful moments. Peace that gives us rest. Wonderful peace.
I decided to open up my devotion app for the day and the scripture was Philippians 4:6-7 "don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Then, you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
When I read that I could not keep the tears from flowing and right there in the Walmart parking lot, I felt peace. I told God what I needed and because I asked, I received. Man, why didn't I do that before? I had been so focused on my "to do" list that I let the most important thing fall to the bottom of the list. So, as I sang those words this morning I knew how true they are. He knows the way to our hearts. I love him more today. The biggest lesson for me in this is to always let his peace guard my heart and mind. It's so easy to get overwhelmed with little things but those things do not matter when you think of the big picture.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Life lately
I need to be more persistent in my blogging but most of the time I have no idea what to write about and half the time I think "who cares". Well, I decided tonight that I would like to improve on my writing skills and what better way to do it? So, it's really simple for you….don't read it or read it.
So, back to my title, life lately. Life seems to be in a hurry these days. Why does time seem to be flying by? Yesterday was January and today is June. Well, you know what I mean. The biggest change in life is of course, motherhood in all its glory. I absolutely love it. My little Raleigh bee is so much better than I ever could have imagined. Why doesn't anyone tell you this sooner?! I guess I could also ask, why didn't anyone tell me how challenging the first few months were going to be?! Adjusting to a new life that you are responsible for is…well, it's a big responsibility. Anyway, I feel like Daniel and I have adjusted more and we now aren't quite as shocked that we have a child together. What started almost fourteen years ago has resulted in something so ridiculously wonderful. Never once when I was a fifteen year old smart-mouthed girl, would I ever, ever dreamed of a fairytale-like life. Don't misunderstand me here. We do not have a perfect life, but we do have each other and we have a Father with so much undeserved and unmerited grace. Some naysayers may say that I am disillusioned in believing we can always have a great marriage and have a great daughter but they can keep on naysaying. I know it takes work and I know that God is bigger than any situation that could ever come up. We have already seen what a miracle -working God we serve.
Back to life as of recent. Aside from balancing being a wife, mother, and employee, I have started exercising. Feels so good and I'm only a few pounds away from my pre-baby weight. Curses to all of you who lose it so quickly and easily (the Lord is working on my bitterness). Ha! Seriously though, I'm just glad to be back in my clothes. I have been painting everything you can think of. Most recently, our back porch. I couldn't have done that without the help of my lovely friend, Katie Billings. She taped off the chevron stripes and we went from there. It all started in the living room a few months ago and now it's focused on the outside. This weekend we will be painting around our windows outside the house. Just trying to spruce the place up. I think if my pharmacy job doesn't work out I could be a professional painter. I have painted every single room in our house.
My sweet girl now has five pearly whites, she's standing on her own, sleeping through most nights and loves to make people smile. We cannot go anywhere without her saying "hey" to every passerby and then turning to see if they respond. She's quite different than her shy mama and I love it. She is such a joy and it is my prayer that she will be all of her life to everyone who has the pleasure of meeting her.
She is turning one in about two weeks. I cannot believe it. Lately I've been thinking about all of the changes and how quickly it goes by. Makes my heart a little sad, I won't lie. I am so thankful for each stage but looking back I wish each one was a little longer and I wish I could remember every single thing. Reading back through her baby book always make me say "awe".
I have also been reflecting on her journey into the world. I have been praying that my heart would not have one ounce of bitterness when I hear of the perfect pregnancy, perfect delivery and then how breast feeding went amazing for you! Sorry, I'm just letting it all out there. In all honesty I think it's more jealousy. I worked so hard, for about 75 hours or so, for a natural, epidural-free birth and it did not happen that way. 75 hours!!! I don't mean I was in labor at home but at the birth center, water broken and all. I am not trying to outdo anyone, I just wanted it to go better and I just want to feel good and proud about what I did. In the end, I had a beautiful baby. In the end, she is healthy with formula. In the end, it turned out that mama is alive and well! My heart is slowly but surely recovering from that. It will certainly be a story to tell miss Raleigh. Sometimes when you have your heart set to something or your plans are so set in stone, it doesn't happen and that doesn't mean that the Father doesn't love us. In fact, we get to see His love more in those times. One of my most precious memories during my time in the hospital was what I remember as my first moment waking up from a coma and seeing my beautiful friends standing around my bed. My husband, Sarah Turner, Kelly Kasten, Nandi Pryce and Mary Turner were all there. That is the love that I got the privilege to experience. Of course, I received so much love that I could never name everyone and I could never, ever express the gratefulness of my heart but that memory will always remind me of God's undeserved, yet so needed love.
Well, to sum it all up….
better at blogging (hopefully)
baby
marriage
juggling of schedule
added gym membership
painting
baby
jealousy (working through it)
friends
God
Love
It's a good life.
So, back to my title, life lately. Life seems to be in a hurry these days. Why does time seem to be flying by? Yesterday was January and today is June. Well, you know what I mean. The biggest change in life is of course, motherhood in all its glory. I absolutely love it. My little Raleigh bee is so much better than I ever could have imagined. Why doesn't anyone tell you this sooner?! I guess I could also ask, why didn't anyone tell me how challenging the first few months were going to be?! Adjusting to a new life that you are responsible for is…well, it's a big responsibility. Anyway, I feel like Daniel and I have adjusted more and we now aren't quite as shocked that we have a child together. What started almost fourteen years ago has resulted in something so ridiculously wonderful. Never once when I was a fifteen year old smart-mouthed girl, would I ever, ever dreamed of a fairytale-like life. Don't misunderstand me here. We do not have a perfect life, but we do have each other and we have a Father with so much undeserved and unmerited grace. Some naysayers may say that I am disillusioned in believing we can always have a great marriage and have a great daughter but they can keep on naysaying. I know it takes work and I know that God is bigger than any situation that could ever come up. We have already seen what a miracle -working God we serve.
Back to life as of recent. Aside from balancing being a wife, mother, and employee, I have started exercising. Feels so good and I'm only a few pounds away from my pre-baby weight. Curses to all of you who lose it so quickly and easily (the Lord is working on my bitterness). Ha! Seriously though, I'm just glad to be back in my clothes. I have been painting everything you can think of. Most recently, our back porch. I couldn't have done that without the help of my lovely friend, Katie Billings. She taped off the chevron stripes and we went from there. It all started in the living room a few months ago and now it's focused on the outside. This weekend we will be painting around our windows outside the house. Just trying to spruce the place up. I think if my pharmacy job doesn't work out I could be a professional painter. I have painted every single room in our house.
My sweet girl now has five pearly whites, she's standing on her own, sleeping through most nights and loves to make people smile. We cannot go anywhere without her saying "hey" to every passerby and then turning to see if they respond. She's quite different than her shy mama and I love it. She is such a joy and it is my prayer that she will be all of her life to everyone who has the pleasure of meeting her.
She is turning one in about two weeks. I cannot believe it. Lately I've been thinking about all of the changes and how quickly it goes by. Makes my heart a little sad, I won't lie. I am so thankful for each stage but looking back I wish each one was a little longer and I wish I could remember every single thing. Reading back through her baby book always make me say "awe".
I have also been reflecting on her journey into the world. I have been praying that my heart would not have one ounce of bitterness when I hear of the perfect pregnancy, perfect delivery and then how breast feeding went amazing for you! Sorry, I'm just letting it all out there. In all honesty I think it's more jealousy. I worked so hard, for about 75 hours or so, for a natural, epidural-free birth and it did not happen that way. 75 hours!!! I don't mean I was in labor at home but at the birth center, water broken and all. I am not trying to outdo anyone, I just wanted it to go better and I just want to feel good and proud about what I did. In the end, I had a beautiful baby. In the end, she is healthy with formula. In the end, it turned out that mama is alive and well! My heart is slowly but surely recovering from that. It will certainly be a story to tell miss Raleigh. Sometimes when you have your heart set to something or your plans are so set in stone, it doesn't happen and that doesn't mean that the Father doesn't love us. In fact, we get to see His love more in those times. One of my most precious memories during my time in the hospital was what I remember as my first moment waking up from a coma and seeing my beautiful friends standing around my bed. My husband, Sarah Turner, Kelly Kasten, Nandi Pryce and Mary Turner were all there. That is the love that I got the privilege to experience. Of course, I received so much love that I could never name everyone and I could never, ever express the gratefulness of my heart but that memory will always remind me of God's undeserved, yet so needed love.
Well, to sum it all up….
better at blogging (hopefully)
baby
marriage
juggling of schedule
added gym membership
painting
baby
jealousy (working through it)
friends
God
Love
It's a good life.
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