Certain events in the past several weeks have brought back to my mind what this word 'restoration' means to me. The dictionary defines this word as follows:
a return of something to a former, original, normal, or unimpaired condition, restitution of something taken away or lost.
I'm going to go a little further and say that God's version of restoration is restoring better than original. It's important to share what God has done because it's not just for me but it's for others who are hurting and in need of restoring.
Almost two years ago my dad was murdered by an 18 year old boy. He was stabbed repeatedly and died on the scene. I can't begin to explain what happened when I got this phone call. Sometimes I still ride by the place and remember vividly that call. When we came home that night I was in total shock. It all started from there. Just grief and very dark days. I had nightmares over and over again. I started having panic attacks and I had never had them before. I would be driving and my body would start to go numb, my chest would get tight and I couldn't breathe. One thing through all this that I remember is my dear friend Sarah Turner would say "heal the way God wants you to heal". I began to think that this was not the way God wants me. These symptoms are not from Him and I didn't want to carry this by myself anymore. I hadn't prayed for a while because I just didn't know what to say.
A couple of weeks after my dad died I did have a dream. I dreamed that I was a choir and my dad walked in. I ran over to him and hugged him and was so excited. People that were around started saying "that's not your dad" and I was like "yes it is!" After a few minutes of them saying that I went down to the alter and starting crying frantically. Not one person came to give me comfort. I woke up and wrote that dream off as just another bad dream. I went on with my days and things got a bit better but I noticed I wanted to stay home more and be to myself. I wasn't Wendy. I kinda felt like a zombie walking around doing day to day routines. I knew people had to be praying for me and I am so thankful for those that did. One night about 2 months later I had the same dream I just told you about. This time when I was crying frantically I felt people around me comforting me. I woke up from that dream and I still felt like it was a bad dream because I didn't want to even think about my dad because even the thought of him made me sad.
I went to church that day and on the way I told my friend Tara about it. She told me she didn't think it was a bad dream and as soon as she said that the holy spirit began a work in my heart. The next night at the school of ministry I told the amazing ladies at my table and they quickly told me this was not a bad dream. Nancy and Beth, who are amazing women of God, said that the dream meant that my dad was singing in the heavenly choir and those people didn't recognize him because he was in a new body but I recognized him because he was my dad. The first time I was not comforted by people because I was so devastated. Also, Beth found a scripture in Psalm that talks about the land of the living and the land of the dead and she said God did not want to me to see my dad as in the land of the dead but of the living. As soon as this word was spoken I felt a supernatural hand lift my spirit up. It really is hard to explain. I felt new, better than original. I know it sounds a little weird to some but if you have ever had peace and joy and love poured over you at once you know!
I found this scripture a few weeks after. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "All praise to God. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled we will be able to give them the same comfort that God has given us" This is why I shared this. It's also to remind myself as this trial begins for the guy who killed my dad. I will not attend any of this and I would just rather not hear anything about it because I will not dig up old wounds that the Lord has already healed. I miss my dad extremely but I know that I will one day see him again. On my journey here I hope to comfort people as much as I can and it is my desire for you to know that restoration is real and it is for you! Thank you for letting me share.
