The simple things

It is the end of a simple but sweet day for me.  I dropped my baby off at Mimi's, went to work, picked said baby up, cooked dinner, played, and just got that sweet girl to bed.  A few things were different about this day.  For one, it's my grandpa's birthday.  Although, he isn't here I had an extra cup of coffee to celebrate him.  My heart was a little sad today but in a good and healthy way.  He was so dear to me that it would be unusual not to be missing him.  His character was so good and so pure that everyone loved him.  He loved everyone and he would have given his shirt off of his back.  Anyway, I will get back on track.

The other thing that was different about this day was Raleigh's bed time.  We did everything we usually do but it was different.  I began to sing as I normally do.  I start off with my usual "Jesus loves me" and ended on "The old rugged cross".  I think I have mentioned this before but I can only usually ever think of hymns to sing at bedtime for some crazy reason.  As I sang "The old rugged cross", something happened in the room.  I just began to feel the presence of the Lord in the room.  It is almost as He was giving me a hug.  As I left the room tears began to flow.  Good tears.  I started to think about the simple things of life.  When I was a child things were so sweet and simple with my grandparents.  I guess that song just took me back to my grandpa playing guitar and my grandma always singing that song in church.  To me, they are the sweetest, most simple people, yet they made such a huge impact on my life.  

What is it about their character that changed me so?  Well, the biggest answer is Jesus.  They loved the Lord, they loved people, they even loved each other.  Because they knew Jesus they were giving, kind, gentle, peaceful, and just plain good!  By the way, my grandmother is still here! She is still all these things.  

I guess my point in all this is to say that I think we need to get back to the simple.  Love Jesus, love people.  A big change would come if we really would LOVE as we are called to.  

This is how God loves: 

God is patient, He is kind.  He does not envy, does not boast or is not proud.  He is not rude, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, He keeps no record of wrongs.  He does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  He never fails!  1 Corinthians 13:4-7

God is love.  The way that Jesus said we are to win people is to love one another.  John 13:35

How different would our relationships be if we lived this 1st Corinthians love?

A piece of my heart.

Life lately has been kinda busy.  I feel like the week ends as soon as it begins.  I try to savor each moment with my family and really capture the sweetest things.  I'm trying to be more thankful.  It doesn't always workout but I'm doing a better job of reminding myself.  Recently I heard about a book called "Sparkling green earrings" by Melanie Shankle.  Love, love, love this book.  I finished it in three days which could explain why my floors are still dirty.  Hey, I did get to the laundry!

Anyways, back to the book.  It's a book about motherhood.  Imagine that.  About a year ago I  jumped into that role.  It certainly wasn't what I expected at all.  It was so much more.  I thank God every day  for what a joy my daughter is and how thankful I am that I was chosen to be her mom.  I have gotten such a glimpse into the Father's love for me by being a mother to her.  It's not always easy.  If you are a mother you know this all too well.  In fact, just the past two weeks she's been waking up every night again.  I suspect teething.  Nothing is more frustrating to me than getting woken up from the best sleep to try and figure out what's wrong with this little person.

It was 1:30 am last Friday when she awoke.  I got up, gave her a bottle (don't judge, I'll do whatever it takes to get her back to sleep), and she drifted back to sleep.  As soon as I got nice and comfy in the bed I hear her in the monitor.  Really?!  At this time I woke Daniel up to ask him what I should do.  I hate waking him up but I only do it in my weakest moments.  He is always so helpful and I am very thankful for the kind of loving dad he is.  So, he went in to try and get her back to sleep to no avail.  Back and forth we went until about 3am.  In a moment of desperation I brought her to our bed thinking surely she would fall asleep in my loving arms.  You can only imagine how aggravated we both were at this point.  It's not just frustrating that it is 3am but the fact that we do not know why she refuses to go back to sleep is enough to make you crazy.

So here we are, she's cuddling with mommy.  I actually loved the feeling of her snuggled next to me. I'm thinking "we are just gonna fall asleep together and it's gonna be so sweet."  Ha! That's when she looked up at the ceiling fan , pointed and quoted her famous question "whassat?"  I just starting laughing.  Daniel, on the other hand, did not think it was funny.  I think he can laugh about it now.  Somewhere around 4am she was sound asleep in her bed until about 9am.  Which is the reason I got to read so much.  So, it worked out in the end.

My point in all this is that there is grace and joy in every situation.  At the moment I was not feeling it much but I can see it now.  I'm still hoping she sleeps through the night again very soon but until then, I will get some extra snuggles and time loving on my girl.  She won't be a baby forever.

I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from the book:

"Looking back, the sweetest things are often the hardest things.  They teach you a level of sacrifice you didn't know you were capable of, and for me, having a child was the beginning of a glimpse into the kind of love Christ has for us.  Sacrificial love.  Love that doesn't keep score.  Love that isn't dependent on what's in it for me.  Love that is consuming and protective and unconditional."

I pray that I can be the best mom to little Raleigh Quinn.  I also pray that I can give this kind of love out to others.  This is the Father's heart.

Comparison

Lately I've heard the phrase "comparison is the thief of joy" several times.  This has really made me search my heart.  It seems like the Lord is doing all kinds of things in my heart these days.  I'll save all that for another day,  back to comparison and the danger in it.  Comparing ourselves to our friends, neighbors, family can start so easily and before we know it we are so unhappy with everything we have! This is such a dangerous place to be.  Today I had the thought that it really makes you ungrateful.  Our God is a God who loves thankfulness and I don't want to be in a place of being ungrateful.  Being ungrateful can rob us of all the blessings that he has in store for our lives.  I don't know about you but I want all the blessings!  

The biggest reason comparison is dangerous is because it can and will steal our joy.  When we lose our joy, we lose our strength.  The bible says "the joy of the Lord is our strength." (Nehemiah 8:10)  When we lose it the enemy can come in at our moment of weakness and knock us off our feet.  Now that I am aware of this, I can see many times where I've allowed this to happen to me.  Don't get me wrong here people, there's always grace.  Our savior is always standing there with arms open, ready to give us back our joy as we draw near to him.  

I have really been evaluating my own life throughout this learning process.  I am so bad about comparing myself to my friends.  I often think I am not good enough and I pale in comparison to my friends.  This goes from clothes to personality from anything to everything.  It's really a constant battle in my mind.  I'm so tired of it.  It is a lot of work trying to keep up with everyone.  It is not the way to  peace.  Peace and joy are two things that the world does not have and how can I be that to them if I'm not living in it myself?

I'm challenging you dear reader to search your heart and see the ways you might compare yourself to others.  Let's find our value in Christ and forget about trying to keep up and be someone we weren't created to be.  I'm looking forward to raising a daughter who knows she is valuable and it will have nothing to do with the things she has or doesn't have, it will be her identity in our savior.  

Just a little side note: let's stop being so hard on each other.  I know that I've been hard on others when they are "different" than me.  That's not a good place to be either.  I've been watching Big Brother (guilty pleasure), but the girls are really mean to each other. It is really sad to see.  We as women need to stand up, especially Christian woman, and be kindhearted to one another.  We need to look past the outward appearance and look at the heart.  I know this is so elementary but it is something that we need to be reminded of.  

Just a little food for thought. Thanks for reading.  

Update: 30 day challenge

About 20 days ago I gave myself a challenge to wear a different shirt everyday for 30 days.  To make it even more challenging I am not allowed to buy any new shirts.  In case all two of my readers are wondering, I thought I'd update.
I have done a pretty good job and I've actually enjoyed doing it.  This week I wore one shirt twice just because I wanted to wear tights and it is one of my only shirts that cover my bottom.  :)
It has been a fun challenge finding different outfits from my existing clothes.  I'll post a few pics after 30 days.  Stay tuned.

Reflections

Today is a good day.  While rocking Raleigh to sleep I started thinking about this day last year.  Tears streamed down my face as I started reflecting on the greatness of all that happened and all that could have been.

This is the day the doctor came into my hospital room and told me they were going to put me on a ventilator to help me stay alive. What I didn't know is that meant I would be put into a coma, which I find was a good thing because I was already afraid of what the other meant.  Anyways, for five days I had no idea that my life existed.

You may be thinking that I bring this up a lot. Well, it's part of my story now.  It doesn't define me but it's changed my life.  See, the enemy tried to take my life.  He steals, kills and destroys.  I do not believe for one second that God brought this on me to teach me a lesson but I will testify that my God is in the restoring business.  What the enemy meant for harm, God will turn it around for the good.  I'm so thankful.  In reality I would have been fine if I hadn't made it.  Being a new mom makes me grateful though, that I get to experience my child growing and learning.  It is one of the most precious gifts I have ever been given.  Children really are a blessing from The Lord.

This next week I'm going to celebrate and enjoy my days.  I want to always have a thankful heart. I am moving past feeling like a victim of the enemies schemes.  I am victorious, I'm alive!

This next week I am expectant of restoration.  I missed five days of my life and almost two weeks away from my baby.  I don't know what this restoration looks like but whatever it is, it will be good.

So yeh, it's a good day.

Psalm 30:3 "God, my God, I yelled for help and you put me together.  God, you pulled me out of the grave, gave me another chance at life when I was down-and-out."

Sweet memories

The storm tonight woke Raleigh up. Every time she would close her eyes it would thunder.  So, there I stood, over her crib so she would be assured that everything was okay.  As I stood there I started humming a little ol' hymn that my grandmother used to sing to me.

'Til the storm passes over, 'til the thunder sounds no more, ' til the clouds roll forever from the sky.  Keep me safe let me stand, in the hollow of thy hand. Keep me safe 'til the storm goes by."  

When I was a child afraid of a storm I would sing that song until the storm was over.  That simple song would bring me such peace, even as a child.  I can't help but be so thankful for the influence of my loving grandparents.  They were a safe place for me and they instilled the love of God in me that I never even understood until I was an adult.  Every night as I rock Raleigh to sleep I sing hymns and every time I think of my grandmother.  She's never wavered in her love for The Lord even after losing her life-long companion.  What an example and a joy she is. She has taught me to stand firm in what I believe and no matter how boisterous the storm may be, we have a peace speaker and we must keep going in faith, full force! 

Sweet, sweet memories. 

30 day challenge

This morning I was thinking of something very random.  I have a ton of clothes that I don't wear.  As I picked out my shirt for work.  I got to thinking "what if I wear a new shirt everyday for the next month?"  I think I would find some shirts that I have purchased and never even worn or shirts that I like but are hidden between other clothes.  I have a tendency to be an outfit repeater.  I have a few items that I love so I end up wearing them over and over!  I think my new item of choice is my blue jean sleeveless shirt.  Well, who can blame me?  It goes with everything!

So, I am challenging myself to do a new shirt a day for the next 30 days.  Here is today's.

I know it's not very amazing, I got it at Goodwill and wanted to try it out.  I always find shirts that are a "good deal" at Goodwill or consignments and end up just hanging them up, never to be seen again.  Well, that got me to thinking that I'd also challenge myself not to buy anything for the next 30 days.  Whew! That's gonna be a hard one for this girl.  I love, love to shop.  I especially love to hunt for good finds. It's one of my favorite past times. :)

So, here it is.  I've put it in writing so now I have to stick to it!  Hold me accountable you fellow bloggers.  I'm sure my husband will do a good job at that as well.

Thank you for reading this very meaningless blog.